On this page, space will be allocated to display the coolest related anecdotes and musings, either scribbled into the guest book Those that were originally emailed to Kevin Nunn are here, too. If you wrote one of them and don't agree to it being used here, please tell me and I'll remove it.
Shane Matheny fondly reminisces:
I had a personal relationship with Dawn in 1991, we met shortly after the release of "Within the Veil". I stayed with her at their "studio" (I use that term very loosely) off and on for a few months just before they embarked on what Warner Bros. & Roberta called the "15 major markets tour".
Here is one good one,
we were at a club in LA called the Gaslight (on Ivar Street) for the Warner Bros. "send off" party/concert for the above mentioned tour. Kerry King from Slayer was at the show, guys from Armored Saint and other bands as well... Fear of God played the main slot at probably about 11:00pm. It was a great show, Dawn had even brought in this black chick whom she had met on the street outside the recording studio for the "Within the Veil" sessions. She is actually on the record singing one line with Dawn at the end of "Drift" - "Yesterday is dead and gone, and tomorrow is out of sight"... That same girl was on stage for Drift that night at Dawn's insistence! She had brought in an old chandelier with green light bulbs (out of her studio/apartment) to hang over the stage, and of course there was the requisite megaphone - which it somehow had become my responsibility to acquire and be sure it was in good working order. They were having some technical difficulties just before the set, so Dawn grabbed the megaphone and promptly announced to the entire crowd "fuck the demons".
There was alot of energy in the room and once the show got started, it was one of their best ever. They played every song off of Within the Veil except for "White Door". After they finished, the evening turned into a big "record-company-send-off-party". Everyone congratulating the Warner Bros. people and FOG of course - it was their party! There was just one problem, there was another band playing to finish up the night. A band no one had ever heard of - at that time...
So, this other band is on stage and no one is really paying any attention to them at all. The band also is not getting a good mix, and not getting enough volume out of the PA to suit them. The singer becomes completely agitated and starts provoking the crowd and using some tasty expletives as well. He finally starts to verbally assault FOG directly. Mike (Carlino) was standing on the side of the stage at this time and proceeded to laugh at give them a hand gesture. Someone else threw a beer on stage, and that was it. It became a band on band brawl right there beside the stage - a good fist fight. There were so many people there that it was broken up rather quickly. I left with Dawn and the FOG guys out the back door, everyone was ready to move to the after show party at a bar called Boardner's just up the street anyway. The "attacking" band was chastised and asked to leave, as record industry people told them "you guys will never get a recording contract". That band was the now "legendary" Kyuss and the singer was of course - John Garcia.
Mike Pippin (a fan) suddenly remembered:
I first learned about Fear of God three years ago [in 2000, ed.]. I was working at a landfill in Oregon. I ran a big D-9 cat. I pushed trash back and forth all day long so I spent a lot of time looking at trash. One day I was cleaning the tracks of my Cat and I looked down and saw a copy of Fear of God's "Within the Veil". I picked it up. I had never heard of them before that day. After I had finished cleaning my tracks I got back in the cab and played the tape...and it changed my life. In a way, it gave me a warm feeling inside, it gave me new found hope. I listened to the tape for the next three years every time I was feeling down; it would make me feel so much beter...until the tape player destroyed my tape. Well, this year [2003, ed.] I got a computer and I was able to download the tracks from "Within the Veil", and I also found out about "Toxic Voodoo", downloaded that as well...and it ROCKS!
Steve Hochheiser (bassist on "Recognize no Authority") recalls:
Looking back I see a group of people who had strong egos. Dawn, Ross and myself were the writers. Each worked well together in the beginning but when the going got tough the problems surfaced because we were all unwilling to accept our roles. I have no bad feelings towards any member of Détente. I saw Dawn when Fear of God was doing a show with Mordred in a club in L.A. We talked and got along. At this time I noticed that she was in terrible trouble with drugs. She was smoking opium and drinking. Dawn always drank a lot but I don't believe that was Détente's primary issue. I am sorry she couldn't get it together, she had a lot to say in her lyrics. I remember during the recording of "Recognize no Authority" when we were fighting, Ross Robinson's mother, Kathie, came down to the studio. Dawn sat on her lap and just curled up and started hugging her like a child. What Kathie later told me did not sink in until years later. She told me to forgive Dawn because she was just so hungry for love, like an abandoned child. That's the Dawn who I regret the passing of, and [I] recognize the abuse that set the stage for her self-destruction.
Rob Michael (ex-bassist in Fear of God) revealed:
After recording "Toxic Voodoo", Chris, Randy and me told John Grden and the record company we were leaving the band. John wanted to stay with Dawn and see "how far he could get". I told Dawn that we were quitting and why, it was a really bad argument. That was the last time I ever talked to her.
Looking back on it now, other then not having a say in the production of "Toxic Voodoo", I would not change a thing. As for as working with Dawn, I was a big Détente fan, and it was an honor working with her in that respect (I was not a fan of "Within the Veil"). When Dawn was sober she was a very caring, wonderful person, but when she was drunk (which was about 90% of the time) she was out of control and extremely hard to deal with. I have no regrets about leaving the band. I wish Dawn could have gone on and been successful and happy, but I guess it was not meant to be.
Bruce Greig (ex-bassist in Fear of God) wrote in a paper missive:
Dawn was a very, very misunderstood person. A lot of people have written her off as a crazy bitch or a raging drunk, but she was really a very cool person who happened to have a lot of emotional problems that she unfortunately tried to cope with by drinking. Believe me, that girl went through TONS of shit during her life, more shit than most people could ever dream of enduring, and she still emerged as a talented, original artist who loved to record & tour. Music was truly her life, and very few people can honestly say that about themselves.
Burkhard Krumkuehler (Germany's #1 FOG fan, credited in the "Toxic Voodoo" notes, though with name misspelled) sighed:
I first noticed the name Détente when I read reviews of their demo in the German metal magazines Metal Hammer and Rock Hard, which must have been at the end of '85 or the beginning of '86. What caught my interest was that, according to the reviews, there was a female-fronted band playing very heavy and aggressive music. That was extraordinary back then and, lamentably, still is today. There were bands like Warlock, Rock Goddess, Chastain or Lita Ford, but though I liked their albums, none of them matched the heaviness and aggression of bands like Metallica (before they got boring), Anthrax, Overkill, Agent Steel, Helstar, Megadeth and Helloween, which were my favourite bands in those years. However, as I didn't use to order demo tapes back then, it wasn't until the end of '86 when I bought Détente's album "Recognize no Authority", that I got into audible contact with Dawn's voice. I was really impressed with the anger, pain, frustration and aggression Dawn expressed with her voice. I also liked Dawn's political/social-critical lyrics very much, because they were (and still are) something I could relate to, especially "Holy War" (religious fundamentalism/fanaticism sucks!), "Blood I Bleed" (which, as far as I understand, deals with the abuse and exploitation of prostitutes by their pimps) and "Vultures in the Sky" (referring to Western countries supporting governments in the Third World with "military aid" to they could terrorize their own population). I could really identify perfectly with Dawn's anger! To me, Dawn's lyrics were a definitely preferable alternative to all this clichéd skull-crushing, bone-breaking and Hail-Satan! stuff, which mostly described some fictional horror stories. So I was sad when I read the news that Détente (i.e. the line-up on the album) had split up, but I never lost Dawn out of sight, always looking for news of possible new band activities. And there was some (though not much) news over all those years until the release of "Within the Veil" in spring '91 under the new name of Fear of God.
I bought the CD shortly after its release and I was impressed! The songs were not as fast and the sound was not as raw as on "Recognize no Authority", but the music was quite original and all songs sounded different. I was (and still am) totally fascinated by the way Dawn used her voice to express all kinds of feelings, like anger, frustration, desperation, sadness and hate. Her cries, screams, whispers, moans and groans. I have the impression that Dawn really lived her songs. I love the musical and vocal variety; I love the depth and the atmosphere of the songs. I really deplore the fact that, as far as I know, nobody has tried to copy this style, as least not to my knowledge. But who would copy it anyway? Dawn, her style of singing and her lyrics were unique and she cannot be replaced; it would never be the same, maybe comparable to a certain extent but definitely not the same.
I think the lyrics of "Red to Grey" and "Diseased" show that Dawn was a compassionate person, someone who cared about abused and oppressed people, about those who suffered in different ways. I think she was hurt by all the injustice in the world, and angry at the hypocrisy of politicians talking about human rights, but don't giving a fuck about them as soon as economical concerns became involved. I also think that the music, vocals, lyrics and cover artwork on "Within the Veil" fit together perfectly, conveying a very dark and somewhat mysterious-menacing mood.
In July '91, I bought a small German metal fanzine called Revelation, which also contained a review of "Within the Veil". Below the review, there was a contact address of Fear of God in LA. In August '91 I wrote letters to this address, telling Dawn how much I loved the album and her vocals. After I had read that during the recording sessions for their second album Fear of God has split up (though it seemed not clear who kicked whom out of the band) I was very sad, because I had felt this band had a lot of potential. However, in spring '92 Dawn played on the Aardschokdag festival in Holland, supported by members of Wrathchild America (who later changed their name to Souls at Zero). If I had known that Dawn would never get to tour Germany, maybe I would have tried to go to this festival. Luckily, the gig was recorded for a Dutch radio metal programme so I could record it on tape. In August '92, I wrote another letter to Dawn telling how much I still loved her songs and that she should not give up her career, because it would be an irreplaceable loss. On October 21st 1992 I received a letter from Dawn and in this letter she gave me her new home address in Edgewater, Maryland, telling me not to give it to anyone and that I was the only one in the world that had her house address; not even the record company had it. She also told me about a new demo to be recorded around the end of October. What really moved me were the words "Write anytime. You are my friend". I guess anyone can imagine what it feels if your favourite vocalist says these words to you! Actually, she was more to me than just a favourite vocalist. I felt a lot of sympathy for her as the person she was (or better, the kind of person I thought she was, because apart from her lyrics and interviews I didn't really know anything about her). Finally, she said that if I could get them in touch with a promoter in Germany they would come and play soon. They wanted to very much. I answered Dawn a few days later, also sending her some money for the demo tape. I received her next letter at the beginning of March '93. She told me the tape was finished, but all the copies they could afford to pay had been sent to labels, lawyers and writers, but they had some money coming in soon and she'd send me a tape by two weeks. She went on "I am not much of a writer, I never write anyone so you're very special. Your letters of encouragement back in the fall 92 + last year helped my soul get thru this difficult period of transition. Light candels + pray over the next 2 months. I love 2 of the songs on the new demo + very much like the 3rd. The newer ones are great, too. We are getting ready to play out. This band is a real band where the old line ups of Fear of God were hardly even in the equal band mode. The new line up is a real band + live it's great. We're all getting to know each other but so far so good. Take care of yourself, send a picture of yourself + you will get your tape soon!" Probably because she was not much of a writer, Dawn never answered any of my many questions concerning her lyrics. In my answer to her letter, I also mentioned the recording of her gig at the Aardschokdag festival and in her next letter at the end of March she asked if I could send her a recording of it. Of course, I sent her one! Then she also asked me, if I could become the head of the Fear of God fanclub in Europe. She seemed to be very enthusiastic about it, telling me how to place small ads in magazines, make demo copies and T-shirts and how to sell them. This made it even harder for me...because I had to reject her offer. I really felt honoured by it, but I told her that I was very sorry to disappoint her and reject her offer, but I felt I was not the right person for this job. I thought that this task had to be done properly, but I had to concentrate on my law studies and I thought I didn't have the organising talent required to do the job right. I was quite anxious that she'd feel "betrayed" because of my refusal and that it might hurt her, but I wanted to be honest. In her answer, which also contained the "Demo 92" with a personal dedication, she assured me that she was not disappointed that I couldn't do the fanclub. It was no problem. Then she asked me if I could send her six more copies of the live recording, she would pay for them. I gladly sent her the tapes. Actually, she never sent any money in return, but it's not important. I only wish she were still alive!
As the letter with the demo tape had taken some time, I had written another letter in between, in which I'd asked her about the demo tape. Her answer to this letter, a postcard I received at the end of June '93, was the last response I got from her (apart from mentioning my name, though misspelled unfortunately, in the "Toxic Voodoo" CD booklet). Even though Dawn didn't write back anymore, I continued writing her every once in a while, the last time in October '96. I mean, she'd told me she wasn't much of a writer, so what could I expect?
Having not read any news about Fear of God for quite a long time, I was very surprised to see a new album when I checked through a record store in July '94. And I was even more surprised when I saw Dawn mentioning "Brukhard, my number one fan from Germany" in her thanks list. OK, Dawn had stopped writing back in the middle of '93, but she had called me a friend and I had told her over and over again how much I liked her vocals and lyrics and how "Within the Veil" was my favourite album of all time. I know that Americans often don't really mean what they say, but I believe that Dawn really meant what she said when she wrote "You are my friend". What really depresses me is that I never met her personally or at least had the occasion to see her live.
With regards to the music on "Toxic Voodoo", I have to say that it didn't meet my high expectations. I mean it's not a bad album, but the music doesn't have the depth and atmosphere as on "Within the Veil". It doesn't have the subtlety. It's as if where "Within the Veil" had three dimensions, "Toxic Voodoo" only has two. It's definitely more aggressive and right-in-the-face, but it lacks the diversity and originality of its predecessor. And I have to say that I even prefer "Recognize no Authority" to "Toxic Voodoo"! To illustrate what "Within the Veil" means to me, let me tell you that it's the unchallenged number #1 in my all-time playlist (which I started in 1988). I have played it 876 times up to now (nr. 2 is Kari Rueslatten's debut "Spindelsinn" at 272 times). "Recognize no Authority" I've listened 182 times since 1988 (but definitely over 200 times since 1986, when it was released), whereas I've listened a mere 96 times to "Toxic Voodoo". And in the last three years, the ratio between "Within the Veil" and "Toxic Voodoo" was 40:1!
I read the news about Dawn's death in a metal magazine at the end of February '97 and I was so shocked that I fell on my bed and started crying. The news hit me harder than the death of my grandparents, because their death had not been a surprise and I knew they had lived their lives, but Dawn was just 33 and still had plans. I mean, I had read some allusions to alcohol problems in some interviews, but I didn't kNow Dawn was actually an alcoholic. In her interviews after the release of "Toxic Voodoo" she had sounded very optimistic, as if she'd overcome all problems of the past. Also, my impression had always been that Dawn had a very strong character. She never gave up, and after each album she started back at zero. That she'd drank herself to death took me completely by surprise. I read this news together with the quotation: "I know the enslaver I taste its poison...felt its sting deep inside. It has no answer, only bitter lies. But its voice I'm hearing keeps calling my name." I suddenly understood that this was obviously a metaphor in which Dawn had described her addiction to alcohol. To resort to another metaphor, one could say that in a certain way she'd followed the example of this young prostitute she'd become friends with in the Philippines and who'd drowned herself one day in the ocean right in front of her, because Dawn also sortof drowned herself: In an ocean of alcohol. But why? I mean, it seems that Dawn must have suffered a lot in different ways and perhaps it was simply too much to bear for her without a drug. But did it really have to end this way? Was this tragic death really inevitable? Was it really that Dawn's will wasn't strong enough? Was it like in the song "Dying Inside" (which seems to describe Dawn's situation perfectly) from the Saint Vitus album "Born too Late", where it says "Alcohol knows it's gonna win"? I'm still looking for clues to help me understand.
After the news of Dawn's death, I found some consolation in Kate Bush' sensual and touching interpretation of "Candle in the Wind" (it's on the "Rocket Man" single and it's far more moving than the original version by Elton John): "And it seemed to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in...and the candle burned out long before the legend ever did." And in Kari Rueslatten's song "Forsaken" on her CD "Demo Recordings 1995": "I cannot see but darkness and death, I feel this cold breeze enter the tune, thy voice once so soft, declaring thy love, why hast thou forsaken me...". Of course, Dawn never "declared her love", so the actual situation in this song is different from mine. But it's the mood of sadness and depression expressed in this song that described my feelings very well. It may sound ridiculous, exaggerated or irrational to others, but I really felt that someone I'd held very dearly had forsaken me.
I often ask myself, what would have been if...? if I had't been too shy to try the phone number printed on the demo tape? (in contrast to Dawn, I am much of a writer, but not much of a "telephone caller"!). If I had tried to do the fanclub? As you can't turn back time, these questions will forever remain unanswered, at least in this world. However, what I do hope is that one day (yet not too soon, because I do love my life), I'll see her on "the other side".
Richard Karsmakers mused:
I got into Fear of God around the time when "Within the Veil" was released. Probably my favourite album of the year, I quickly learned to appreciate the haunting tunes and Dawn's gift for touching lyrics. It was quickly obvious that her life had not been a happy one, which became even more apparent when I met her twice in April 1992. At both occasions she was drunk despite just having done a stunning performance, and she took each opportunity to rant and rave about the music industry as well as the way her life was going. This must have been not too long after the aborted Fear of God album that was recorded completely but only lacked her voice.
Even for those with a, shall we say, normal life behind them, it is difficult not to be touched by Dawn's lyrics. Man, she's been through hell many times, but each time it was evident that underneath there was really just a person acheing to be understood, loved.
I seem to have been the one that broke the news of Dawn's death on the Internet. A sad event indeed, because I am convinced there was so much more that was still buried within her, just waiting to come out. When I discovered that Kevin wanted to stop supporting his FOG site, I jumped at the occasion. I owe most of the original site's contents to him, even though I did change things around quite a bit. If this site can be a forum for all those who loved Fear of God - and those who still do - then that's cool. That's what I am doing this for.
Dawn will be sorely missed, but her musical legacy will live on.
The following remarks are straight off the original FOG site that this one was based on, so they were submitted to Kevin. Dates are unknown, but the last update was December 1997.
Kevin Nunn, TAFKAW OTFOG (The Artist Formerly Known As the Webmaster Of The Original Fear Of God pages), wrote:
My first exposure to Fear of God was from an issue of Guitar Player. I forget what issue it was, and I have desperately tried to find it again, but have not found it as of yet. They had a review of the Within the Veil CD and it caught my interest. It then took me 6 months to find a copy of this CD. I found a fellow fan on Prodigy and he found a used copy of the CD in his area and sent it to me.
On my first sample of the CD, I was hooked. Dawn Crosby's voice is just plan awesome. She can sound like a sweet little girl, yet has the most blood boiling scream I have ever heard. I find it hard to describe her voice, but believe me, it is just plain awesome.
After listening to "Within the Veil" hundreds of times, I need another fix and noticed on the CD cover, a line that said "Detente R.I.P.". That sparked my curiousity and I eventually found out that was the name of the band Dawn had fronted before the Fear of God group and the Warner Bros. contract.
Another 4 months of tracking down a Detente CD... Never found it, but I did find the Detente cassette in a Metal Blade Catalog.
Fear of God was quiet for a good while, until someone on FidoNet told me they had a new CD out. This time it didn't take me as long to get it. This new album is even greater than the first 2. Dawn's voice has become more evil and eerie sounding than ever.
OK, that is enuff from me....
Bruce J. Kipple enscribed:
My name is Bruce Klipple, and I send this in regard to the untimely death of Dawn Crosby. I can't believe this. Fear of god was such a good band, one of the few "dungeon metal" bands that I came to appreciate, and the only thing I've honestly heard from them is "Within the Veil". I bought this cassette by pure chance. I saw it in the store, thought it looked interesting, and didn't care if I wasted my money at the time.
What I ended up with became one of the favorite and most listened-to tapes I owned. I wrote to Dawn c/o Warner Bros., didn't get a response for almost a year and a half. I had all but given up on the idea of trying to get a hold of Dawn, when I suddenly got a mysterious letter in the mail, return address labeled F.O.G. I threw it on the table and didn't look at it for three days! When I finally opened it up, I almost fell off my chair. It was a photo copy of the cassette sleeve for the three song demo, "Beyond the veil" (I still have this). It had a hand written note from Dawn, stating that this was the new F.O.G., And followed with the question, "Do you still care?"
Needless to say, I definitely did! I thought about writing her to get a copy of the demo, when I took notice of two phone numbers on the sleeve. I called the first one, and woke her up (woops!). We chatted for a while, she filled me in on the member changes from "Within the Veil" to the present time, and just shot the shit about politics, life, her dealings with Warner Bros., etc. I spoke with her two more times after that. We tried to coordinate meeting up with each other at a show of theirs coming up in Maryland, but I never made it down. I spoke with her after the show to see how things went, and apologized for the fact that I never made it down. She said she was going around to all the guys in the club, asking them,"Is your name Bruce?" I really wanted to meet her, and I kick myself now for not having the opportunity to do so at the time. I continued trying to get a hold of her after this (mind you, this was about four years ago), and finally gave up; she was busy with the band, and never had the opportunity to speak with her again.
If you have anything-I mean anything-on or about Dawn or F.O.G., please contact me. As I stated earlier, the only thing I have is "Within the Veil", and I would like to have the opportunity to appreciate Dawn's work a bit more than I have in the past.
I looked at the cover of Within The Veil several times in a local record store, always trying to figure it out. Oddly enough, I read a review of that recording in Entertainment Weekly--where they gave it an A- review (amazing, considering what a mainstream publication they are) and described Dawn's voice as eating the whole recording alive and engulfing the listener. After picking up the CD and listening to it, I was immediately agreeing with that review. Within The Veil had powerful music and arrangements--and was definitely a notch above what other metal bands were doing--but Dawn's voice was completely frightening. That's what always got to me. Even on Toxic Voodoo, where I don't get to much out of the music because it seems a little murky production-wise, she's absolutely commanding. I think her lyrical vision was really great and always cut right to the bone. Fear Of God was a great band--and like I said before, several steps ahead of their contemporaries. They were truly vicious and eaten up with some real pain. I know that when I heard about her death I was stunned and upset. I've been listening to the Detente recording and both FOG releases quite a bit lately, and I must admit that it's a little unsettling to read Dawn's lyrics. I'll definitely miss her voice and work. I don't think there will ever be another vocalist quite like her.
Robert Dwyer scribbled:
I'm glad to see that you have made a site for Fear Of God, since it is a band that has a special place in my heart. I'm still shuddering from the knowledge of Dawn's death that you provided me. I had no idea that she passed away and am still in absolute shock. Since you seem to need a little feedback from some Fear Of God fans, here are some of my personal recollections of Dawn.
A friend of mine named Will Llewellyn turned me on to "Within The Veil", which I thought was brutal and devastatingly emotional at the same time. Songs like "Love's Death", "Drift" and "Red To Grey" really hit me straight between the ribcage and I was hooked from there on. I first saw Fear Of God at the Cotton Club in Atlanta, sometime in 1990. There were only 20 or so people in attendance and Dawn was sick that night, but none of these things detracted from their performance. Dawn gave it her all, writhing and contorting upon the stage as though she were possessed. The band played most of the songs from "Within The Veil", as well as one Detente song (that I can't recall). I spoke with Michael Carlino for about 20 minutes that evening and he seemed very down to earth. Dawn was flitting about talking to people with a beer ever presently in her grip. I didn't have a chance to speak to her that night, but I would soon after. She seemed very humble on stage and almost self-depreciating, but she gave everything she had to her performance.
But it wasn't until August 20th, 1993 that I would actually get to spend some time with Dawn. Fear Of God were booked to play a very small club in Atlanta called The Wreck Room, which no longer exists. There weren't many people there when I arrived, which disappointed me. Fear Of God were doing this tour with Vicious Circle and another band. No sooner did I start looking for Dawn to sign my Detente album, when I bumped into her near the dressing room entrance. When she saw the album, she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the dressing room. She introduced me to her band and whisked me out into the stage area to drink a beer with me and watch one of the opening bands. She was very flattered that I brought this album and she treated me very graciously. After the show, Dawn spent almost an hour with a group of her fans outside of the club. She gave out her phone number and answered everyone's questions about her songs and the band. Apparently it had been a pretty rough tour for them, since they were having to sleep on top of their equipment in the U-Haul. She hadn't slept for over a week and was drinking Michelob hand over fist. I felt very bad for her and was very concerned about the way she treated herself. I feel even worse knowing where her behavior led her.
I will miss Dawn Crosby and I'm very sad that such a sweet person has left us. I hope that many other people will discover her lyrical gifts, but unfortunately too late for her to ever know. Amazingly, I have a 1st generation copy of an 8mm film that was done that night in Atlanta on 8/20/93 and it looks excellent! If anyone has Fear Of God video or audio footage, please contact me at Robbit69@AOL.com. Dawn mentioned trading an earlier show from California with me, but I regretfully did not contact her about it. It's very possible that someone has this show, so it's out there...
Thank you webmaster for this forum and I hope you got something out of this for your files. Please send me an e-mail if you can round up any Fear Of God stuff.
Pixel Fairy recorded:
I first heard FOG when a friend working for Warner gave me "Within the Veil" It hit me like nothing before (or after) ever has. Maybe partly because I was really young at the time, and really depressive and emotional in a way that really went with the feel of that album. It's been my favorite ever since. I used to listen to them a lot back then, thinking I was the only one who had ever even heard of them. Since I never heard anything about them, I thought they were gone. But they had such an effect on me, brought out vicious loving claws from in me...the only way I could think of to put it. Then I saw the new CD in Maryland (I only lived there for two months, and moved back to LA) and immediately grabbed it without second thoughts. I found it to be more angry and energetic than the first. The first was always depressing, unless I already was. But it could certainly help you get it out. The second one I could listen to more often, by now I was hesitant to listen to the first one, which still has a strong effect on me.
A year ago I saw their name on the bottom of a flyer touring with some death metal bands (how she got mixed up with all that is still beyond me, death metal is fun, but...) so I knew where I was going to be that night. She had lost a little of her feel, but she was definitely still there! They played most of "Toxic Voodoo", but it was strange that they did not play "Worms". At every stop there was that one obvious death rocker who came to see them (me in LA). She asked me what the whole goth thing was, she epitomized it (she did say that she was really into christian death so she had some idea). Those others who met her know that she really was really nice, and really fun, but was also clutching the ever present beer that night. I did not know what a problem that beer was. I'll never forget that night. I gave her a bracelet. I still only listen to her at certain times, usually with my friend or when im really depressed or something. And now. But I'm trying not to tear my arms. I can probably listen to it a little more often now. Until I found this site, the only people I knew of who were into FOG were through me. I saw this site a week ago and found out about her death, and was choked that day. I wanted to see her again. I had no idea she was dead only two months later. It's really sad that she had to die like that, and so young. They were a strong influence on me from an early age (about 14 or 15) and still are. I'm still surprised about this page and the other people. I went so long being the only one who even knew who she was and so silent about it (except that I would always ask any other goth/punk type I met if they had heard of them, until I gave up) (remember hearing vague rumors about a friend of a friend who had a video or had seen a video, something about needles being in it). I was told that a lot of the talent was with Michael, and Doug Bermender also says this. If so, I'd like to know of any other music he's done (I also thought he was dead). That feel was still there when Dawn played without him and in "Toxic Voodoo", so I still think she had a lot to do with it. I used to think she did most of it, kinda like Danzig did with Misfits and Samhain because she is credited with the lyrics, making it easy to think she also wrote the music. Not sure what else to say, probably just said a buch of useless crap trying to get out my feelings on this. I'm not a writer.
Thanks, Kevin, for this site, and letting us know about all this. please feel free to email:
Go to the Official Detente / Fear of God / Dawn Crosby site home page